i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
