my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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