just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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