Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How does one acquire holy water?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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