Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
