i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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