Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Terrible idea I love it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
