So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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