Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
