I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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