Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
