I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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