Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
