Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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