hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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