Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
