I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
