she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
