No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
