how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
