He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
