haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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