I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
