That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
