Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
