i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
