Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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