Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
