I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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