I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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