So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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