have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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