Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
