Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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