I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
