'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
