just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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