I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
