why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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