Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
