Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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