So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
