I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
