Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
