guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
