Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize