Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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