when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
