I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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