I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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