but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
