can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
