Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
