wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
