my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
