mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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