Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
