the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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