she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
