Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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