You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
