Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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