I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
