She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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