last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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