Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are we still banned from the library?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
