I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
