You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
