He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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