I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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